Got a (spiritual) Pulse?

When is the last time you felt alive?  I mean, really alive.  Free to be the person you have always envisioned and hoped you could be.  Free to be the person that you know deep down in your heart you are. If you are feeling less than alive (or if you are wondering, “Do I even have a pulse?!”) then it’s time for a spiritual check up and let me explain why.  The essence of who you are, who you were created to be, and the seeds of your divine purpose and destiny reside in your spirit. Yes, you have a spirit!  Merriam-Webster defines the word spirit as that “vital principle” that “animates” and “brings life” to a being. Your spirit is eternal and that which enlivens you – it is that which gives you life with a capitol “L”.

You have a spiritual pulse.  God created you with a body, soul and spirit and His divine order sets up our human spirit as the head of our being with our soul, (which I define as the compilation of your mind, your will, and your emotions) and our bodies, as secondary and tertiary to the spirit. Your spirit brings life to your body and soul.  This is because our spirits are eternal. When the body and soul cease to exist, your spirit lives on.

Eating disorders, addictions and mood problems all take a toll on our ability to be truly free and to feel fully alive. Therefore, they take a toll on the human spirit.  When an individual is in the throes of an eating disorder or addiction, this causes the divine order to be out of whack.   The drives of these disorders seek to usurp the power of the spirit, the functions of the body and an individual’s thoughts, emotions and ability to make choices. Additionally, if you have grown up in an environment that has not nurtured your spirit, or in an environment that overvalued or over-nurtured some other aspect of your being (for example your mind) to the neglect of the other aspects of your being; or, if you have been exposed to an environment that was toxic to any aspect of your being - your sense of freedom and capacity to feel and live fully alive can become seriously compromised.

Taking your Spiritual Pulse: 
There are three primary ways our spirits respond when spiritual health is compromised: 

A “captive spirit”: When a disorder like an addiction or an eating disorder thrives and threatens to upset the divine order, it can actually begin to “rule” over your soul and spirit. That’s why I call this a captive spirit.  As this occurs, you live less and less out of the essence of who you are and begin to look more and more like the disease that holds you captive. An individual struggling with substance abuse, for example, may long to feel alive and the abuse or addictions have become superficial substitutes.  Often times, this individual has unknowingly functioned with a “slumbering spirit” or an “orphan spirit” for years and in their attempts to “enliven” themselves, they look to drugs, alcohol, or compulsive behaviors, etc.

A “slumbering spirit”: If you have grown up in an environment that has not nurtured your spirit, or in an environment that overvalued or over-nurtured some aspect of your being to the neglect of your spirit; you may experience what is called a slumbering spirit.  It’s like your spirit went into hibernation due to lack of nurture, strengthening, or under-development.  Alternatively, trauma such as physical, emotional or sexual abuse, neglect or abandonment, can also contribute to a slumbering spirit.  This is especially the case when the individual has repressed emotions or disassociates from the negative effects of the trauma or toxic environment. 


An “orphan spirit”:  Finally, someone with an “orphan spirit” has wounds that come from deep feelings of emotional abandonment. Individuals with an orphan spirit struggle to trust or receive from relationships.  They have essentially closed their hearts off to others, even those they are seemingly close to.  They do this out of fear of being hurt.  They struggle to believe that their emotional and relational needs could ever be truly met in relationships.   As a result they tend to be overly self-reliant and hide from God.  This type of wounded spirit also struggles the most to feel connected with God.  They may be angry with God or feel God is angry with them or just not believe they are worthy of His full attention or love.  While someone with an orphan spirit may appear fiercely independent, in actuality this independence covers hurt and pain.   

But there is Hope!

You were created to be a free spirit.  The first step to having a healthy spirit is paying attention to your spirit and identifying and nurturing the needs of your spirit.  Many of the groups at Timberline Knolls like the “Awakenings” group, are designed to do just that.  Once you have taken your spiritual pulse, here are some practical ways to begin the journey towards hope.  

Liberate and Empower:  Individuals with a captive spirit struggle to connect with life.  The only connection they have is with their addiction or disorder.   If you are struggling with a captive spirit it is important to understand how the addiction or eating disorder has taken your spirit captive.   Admitting this is a powerful step and making decisions that will strengthen your recovery over choices that only strengthen the power of the addiction is key.  The journey involves giving your spirit a voice to restore proper alignment of your spirit being in control of your mind and body instead of the addiction being in control.  Just like in the movie “Shawshank Redemption”, individuals coming out from under the captivity of their disorder struggle at first with re-engaging in life (the good and the bad) and what it means to be truly free and feel empowered without the addiction or disorder.


“Caged birds accept each other but flight is what they long for.” TENNESSEE WILLIAMS, Camino Real


Awaken and Nurture:  Individuals with a slumbering spirit struggle the most to connect with themselves.  They have lost sight of what they really think, feel and want out of their lives.  If you are struggling with a slumbering spirit then you have an under-developed, “malnourished” spirit.  Do all that you can to engage the spirit and have a healthy relationship with yourself by learning to identify and respond to your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a healthy way.  Once again, connecting with your spirit and with God through prayer, scripture reading, music, art, and the outdoors is important.  Do things that you used to do as a child – play, dream, explore!
“The free man is he who does not fear to go to the end of his thought.” LEON BLUM

Restore and Strengthen:  Individuals with an orphan spirit struggle to connect with others.  The orphan spirit needs to identify and heal their emotional wounds and exchange the lies they have come to believe about themselves and relationships that have contributed to the lack of trust in relationships and pessimistic outlook towards life and disconnect with God.  Prayer, scripture reading, music, arts and nature are important here as well and orphans are encouraged to learn how to connect with their spirits while learning to connect with and build a healthy and nurturing community around them.


“The truth shall make you free.”                                                   JESUS, John 8:31
 
Born to be a Free Spirit:
In a word, your spirit is most activated and at it’s strongest during those times in which you feel most alive and free.  This will give you insight into what is unique to you in helping to liberate and empower, awaken and nurture, and restore and strengthen your spirit. Learn about and respond to the truth about your true identity and destiny as a child of God because …You were born to be a free spirit!
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Painting anyone?

Letting Go and Getting low . . .

"Now you might ask: "What does this have to do with God? I thought prayer was supposed to be talking to God or searching for God. You seem to be saying that prayer is first of all all about me and getting myself out of the way?"

That is exactly what I am saying. God is already present. God's Spirit is dwelling within you. You cannot search what you already have. You cannot talk God into 'coming' into you by longer and more urgent prayers. All you can do is become quieter, smaller, and less filled with your own self and its flurry of ideas and feelings. Then God will be obvious in the very now of things."

I'm reading Richard Rohr's Simplicity - The Freedom of Letting Go. This quote was from page 45.

"Now you might ask: "What does this have to do with God? I thought prayer was supposed to be talking to God or searching for God. You seem to be saying that prayer is first of all all about me and getting myself out of the way?"

That is exactly what I am saying. God is already present. God's Spirit is dwelling within you. You cannot search what you already have. You cannot talk God into 'coming' into you by longer and more urgent prayers. All you can do is become quieter, smaller, and less filled with your own self and its flurry of ideas and feelings. Then God will be obvious in the very now of things."

I'm reading Richard Rohr's Simplicity - The Freedom of Letting Go. This quote was from page 45.

Mother Wisdom Speaks

Some of you I will hollow out.
I will make you a cave.
I will make you so deep the stars will shine in your darkness.
You will be a bowl.
You will be the cup in the rock collecting rain.

I will hollow you with knives.
I will not do this to make you clean.
I will not do this to make you pure.
You are clean already.
You are pure already.

I will do this because the world needs the hollowness of you.
I will do this for the space that you will be.
I will do this because you must be large.

A passage.
People will find their way through you. A bowl.
People will eat from you and their hunger will not weaken them unto death.
A cup to catch the sacred rain.

My daughter, do not cry. Do not be afraid.
Nothing you need will be lost.
I am shaping you.
I am making you ready.

Light will flow in your hollowing.
You will be filled with light.
Your bone will shine.

The round, open center of you will be radiant.
I will call you Brilliant One.
I will call you Daughter who is wide.
I will call you Transformed.

By Christin Lore Weber

Unpacking: Revival in Alabama

I returned from my missions trip to Alabama on March 2. I was only there for a week but it has taken me almost a month to “unpack” and process it all.

Here is a link to some VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS!!! Enjoy!

Freedom Mission:

"A story of boys who fell in Love.

And a story of how Love set them free."

http://vimeo.com/10511973

Password: ILikeGod

A team of 16 of us went and ministered at a drug rehab for adolescent boys. These were rough kids from rough backgrounds. To give you a taste of just how rough, I met individually with four boys and three out of the four of them had a father that was dead due to drug related violence! I learned on this trip that the most powerful tool we have as Christians to affect change is LOVE. This sounds so simple but the love isn't. I learned that this is no ordinary love. This is no sissy love. This is the love of the Father. This is the kind of love that lifts you up in the safety of his cupped hand and leads you right into the inner chamber of the Father’s Heart.

One day we were speaking life and prophesying over the boys. The Holy Spirit was giving us incredible words of knowledge for them.

(As an aside can I just say that he gift of prophesy is blowing my mind!).

One of the boys had a brace and crutches because he had sprained his ankle playing basketball. He told us that it was throbbing and that he could not move it at all because he was in a lot of pain. I asked him if we could pray for him and before I could even get out the words, “Holy Spirit come” He said, “my foot just stopped throbbing!”. We thanked God for what He was doing and kept praying. Within a minute or two he had the brace off, put the crutches on the ground and was walking around the room. You should have seen the looks on the boys’ faces when they saw the Kingdom touch this young man’s life. It was incredible. We were only there for a week but by the end of the week the boys were praising God, denouncing their gangs and walking in power themselves! They had been touched by the power of God and were radically changed.

Another day, we had two new boys come who had heard about what God was doing from the other boys. When they entered the group the boys said things like,

“These Guys talk to God! They are going to tell you things about yourself that will make you think they can read your mind! They told us how God sees us and it was all good things!”

It was so precious! So the team of us started prophesying over the two boys but something in my spirit didn’t feel right. I noticed that there didn’t seem to be as much power in our words as there had been the other day so I started asking God what to do. In that moment I felt the Holy Spirit come upon me and I heard him say, “Today, I want to move in power through the boys and not through the team”. So I told the boys and the team what I heard Holy Spirit say and quickly taught them how to listen to God. The boys started prophesying over each other and it was crazy powerful! That day I learned experientially what Paul meant in I Cor. 14 when he said that we should earnestly seek after spiritual gifts but most of all the gift of prophesy. I saw verses 24 and 25 come to life as the boys proclaimed

“God is really among you!”.

Therapy Day

Thursdays at the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry have fondly become known to me as "therapy day". Like a good therapy session, I find myself coming out of there with tears in my eyes triggered by a new revelation of a deeper work that Poppa God is doing in my life. And like a good therapy session you find yourself asking, "Crying again?!" as you marvel at the depth and breadth of your own inner healing work that we seem to naively think is always over before it ever really started.

At first I didn't understand why these "sessions" seemed to always occur on Thursdays (except that my "therapist" must like keeping His appointment days consistent :). Thursdays are the day we go out on outreach. My outreach is to a local faith-based drug rehabilitation center for women. It has been an amazing privilege to see what God is doing in these women's lives. This past Thursday a woman testified of the deliverance, provision and miraculous breakthrough that she has been experiencing as she is looking forward to graduation from the program. This is the same women who God highlighted to me the very first day we went to the outreach. I remember noticing how hard she looked and how defensive she seemed. Hearing her yesterday, was like watching a completely different person. She was light and bright and joyful and content! She brought tears to the eyes of her peers that certainly had witnessed first hand the glorious transformation that this woman went through. The amazing thing was that she credited it all to God. This woman who found God within the walls of a drug rehab at the lowest time in her life knew without a shadow of a doubt that God's love is real and powerful. She is now walking in her true identity as daughter of the King and she knows it!

So I have come to accept that Thursday's are "therapy" days and I know now that His working in me is a parallel process with the work He is doing through me! My experience is that you can't have one without the other if you want to be an effective minister of His glory.